Since my son has gone to Colorado, I have noted that I am the vastly outnumbered gender here in my home. Now that is not a bad thing, just different.
In fact, in many ways it is a good thing.
In the last several weeks I have noticed that I am a bit less grumpy and a bit more willing to listen. Maybe it is the gentle femininity surrounding me, but I really do think that maybe I am softening a bit. But only on the inside!
For example, today my oldest daughter decided to wear a Brookes Brothers skirt, sweater and blouse I had bought her last year. She only wore it once then set it aside. Today she wore it to church and she looked…well…stunning. All grown up, lady-like and proper,and well, that brought a sudden flare of “uh-oh” to this DADDY mind. Of course I complimented her, showing my soft side, but I did not let her see the other “DADD bites young man” side.
But it was there!
I have a T-Shirt with the DADD logo on it, and we add the Y, because I am not against my daughter’s dating (sometime when they are about 28), it is just that there are certain YOU’s that I am concerned about. You see, my daughters are my daughters, not anyone else’s. So how they are treated, respected, cherished and protected is of great importance to me
I often tell them that every young man who desires a date must first talk to me. They beg me to not be cleaning a gun or sharpening a knife when he comes to talk, and I will respect that. Unless he is the wrong kind of guy. It will be a very bad day for the wrong kind of guy, I assure you.
So what is the right kind of guy?
And why am I writing about it to other dad’s?
The right kind of guy will be confident, but humble. He need not be perfect, or even totally mature. But he must be respectful, self-sacrificial, and he must recognize that until he places a ring on her finger at the altar, she is mine, not his, no matter what he may think. He will be a lover of Jesus, first and foremost, and he must be self-controlled. It will not go well if he is a kiss-up. But if he is genuine, and he proves his trustworthiness, that will do him well.
I will be looking at how he treats his parents, especially his mom. I will look at how his mom and dad treat each other, because they will have been the model of marriage he will imprint upon. I will be watching to see how he fits in a family setting, and how he respects the siblings in my home. I will watch to see that he is willing to be a part of a family, and not overly desiring to be “alone” with his interest. I will watch him to see if he works and if he saves and if he has goals. I will watch him pray, and I will ask him how his relationship with Jesus is going, and I expect an answer. I expect him to be able to carry on a conversation without using his keyboard, and I expect him to be informed, growing in discernment and aware of the days in which he is living. I expect him to love learning. Lazy, moody, rebellious and insolent need not apply. Lastly, I will be watching to see if he has a vision for family…being a man who can lead and who can protect, nurture and husband my daughter.
Right now I am thinking about a dad with a son still in the home. He has hopes that his son will grow to be a man, marry and be faithful to God and his wife every day of his life.
I am praying for that Dad.
I am praying he will live his own life with integrity and faith in Jesus. I pray he will be strong and soft, and that he will love his wife sacrificially. I pray he will be teaching his son to become a man, full of self-control, humility, faith, curiosity, gentleness, courage, and a firm desire to work. I pray that Dad will be teaching his son not only how to think well, but to speak well, learn well, and to take his place among real men. I pray that dad will have a vision for generational faithfulness to the Lord God.
You see, the young man who someday may come calling here may be your son.
So DADD to Dad, let me encourage you to raise your sons to be men of God. Because there are daughters of God out there who are waiting for them to lead, love and sacrifice themselves.
And someday (years from now!!!!) one of those daughters may be my own.
Prepare him well, dad,
The Homeschooling Dad